Life of a Teenager

Hello lovelies,

 Today I'm going to talk a little bit about the life of a teenager; the side title could also be, "life according to the viewpoint of Hannah Bailey, a teenage girl."
  Basically, when I was younger I had this grand vision of what teenager-hood would be like, based on books, movies, and television. It would be so much fun; there'd be wild parties, I'd go to stores and act like a dork with my friends, and I'd hang out at the mall every weekend.
 It seemed simple, exciting, and perhaps luxurious.

 But it's most definitely not like that. At least, not for me, and not for my most of my friends. Social anxiety, a bad economy, and distrusting adults take up most of my time. Instead, I sit here, downing a cup of off-brand soda and writing a blog post that no one will read.
 It's not bad, necessarily. I mean, it's good to be level-headed, mature, and responsible. But sometimes I just want to have fun and I feel like I have to always be those 3 things; most of my teenage years this far have been complaining about my bad joints, drawing useless fan-art, and filling out applications for jobs that no one wants to give me.

 It's like, I'm trying really hard to be a good kid, a good person, and above all, a good Christian, but sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I'm trying to be open to God, and listen to what He's saying, but I'm not going to lie- I've been struggling with my faith lately.
 It's not at all that I don't believe in God, it's quite the opposite, actually. I believe in God so strongly but it feels like I'm not hearing His voice lately and I feel a little bit lost, as if I don't know where to go, or what I'm supposed to do with my life.

 And that brings me to my next thing; I'm getting ready to graduate. And I am really, really excited because I'm so, so, so close to being done with all of this (I can only learn about flora/fauna & Napoleon for so long).
 But a bunch of my friends have graduated her recently and it's really weird, because it's like... we're all getting older. We're growing up. Things are changing and shifting really fast and nothing is the same anymore. It's such a peculiar experience, in all honesty, and you don't have a choice- life is going to just keep going on & on.
 And with graduating, I'm going to start at our local community college in the Fall, and I'm trying to find a job. It's so weird to suddenly have all of these adult responsibilities and not even have my driver's license yet (which is not too far off- I'm almost done with driver's ed!).

 I guess all I'm saying with this post is that everything is weird and slightly awkward when you're a teenager. Happiness is such a hard thing to comprehend and achieve, let alone pure contentment. All of the things that seemed so exciting and easy as a little kid is suddenly way different and either nonexistent or really hard.
 Most of my friends are too busy to hang out anymore and the things I used to love just aren't exciting anymore. Everything kind of feels like a chore and I'm always tired. When you're young, you want to be older. You can't wait until you're old enough to make & manage money, do stuff with friends, and just be super independent.
 Now, I just want to be 7 again. When nothing was confusing, and weird, and hard. I wasn't stressed out and lonely and a little bit scared of the future.

 Right now, I'm just praying and trying to find my way in this crazy game of life; just taking things in stride, one step at a time. Life can be hard sometimes, but you just have to be positive. Being a teenager is an awkward, sweaty, and sometimes awful experience, but it can also be really nice. It gives you time to prepare for the world of full-adulthood and you learn who your true friends are. It's a true learning experience.
 And that's just the life of a teenager.

Ciao,
Hannah