Loneliness

Hello lovelies!

 Loneliness is such a funny thing, you know?

 I absolutely hate feeling lonely. Because then I start to think. And when I start thinking, my thoughts get twisted, and in all honesty I become slightly paranoid. So then I don't want to be around people... but it resulted from feeling alone to begin with.

 See my problem?

 Like, I love physical affection. But not all the time, and only from certain people. But due to being so fickle about it, I often don't experience the amount that I feel I need.

 Loneliness is just this constant ugly cycle, and even though I'm aware of what I'm doing, I never seem to be able to stop it. My head is always just going a million miles an hour and I get shaky and tired and anxious and people just exhaust me, but I just can't stand to be alone for too long.

 Some days I put my earbuds in and try to drown out the entire world as much as possible.
 Other days I try to stay around my mom & brother as much as possible to drown out my own thoughts.
 I can't pick one thing to feel.

 And even though I know it's not, some days I feel like it's going to tear me into tiny little pieces. Just chew me up, spit me out, and leave me there.
 People truly are my greatest blessing and my greatest curse.

Ciao,
Hannah